


It's not a Pyramid, It's a Triangle

by AKABess



Series: Porno, Porno, Porno! [4]
Category: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Post-Book 03: Oathbringer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 18:08:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18504316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AKABess/pseuds/AKABess
Summary: Adolin is targeted by an assassin at a party.





	1. Assassins

**Author's Note:**

> This is the intro to the Kaladin/Adolin/Shallan threesome idea. m/m pairings, m/m/f pairing at the end. Lots of awkwardness.

The feast was boring, as always. Sure, the lighteyes seemed to enjoy himself, but Kaladin's guard duty was rather dull. And it was the worst kind of dullness because there were so storming many people he needed to watch to protect Highprince Adolin, his charge for the evening.

Kaladin didn't usually pull that many guard duty shifts anymore, being the captain of a now quite large military force. But tonight was Peet and Ka's wedding, and Kaladin took the shift so the other bridgemen could attend. He'd made a quick appearance at the beginning of the event but left early to go replace one of his men so that man could attend as well. Weddings were a big deal in Bridge Four.

Unfortunately, that meant a night of watching drunken lighteyes until the wee hours of the morning. He'd already been there for two hours, and the dinner courses weren't even finished yet. The master-servants were bringing yet another course of whatever delicacy the trumped-up landlord hosting had thought would impress his guests. He'd almost let his gaze wander to the windows when he saw the assassin's blade.

"Adolin! Down!" he shouted, leaping forward to attack the hired killer.

Adolin instead turned. He too saw the blade now streaking towards his chest and blocked the strike. Luckily, his duelist training had given him quick, and appropriate, reactions. He swept the arm up with one hand and with the other, smoothly grabbed the eating knife on the table and slammed it into the chest of the assassin.

Kaladin was only a step away, spear poised to strike when the assassin died. He found himself breaking into a cold sweat at how close the assassin had come to killing his charge. And more than that, the son of his superior, and one of his best and most loyal friends. He watched, dumbfounded, when Adolin calmly requested a replacement eating knife.

The feast, however, was over. The death had rather squashed the mood, and the host requested everyone return to their quarters while Highprince Aladar's police forces were called to perform their investigation.

Kaladin knew little would come of it, but he still felt sick with worry. Worry for his friend, worry that he'd draw the ire of Dalinar, and worry that his replacement wouldn't be capable of protecting the Highprince either. At this point, he figured his position as captain of the Kholin house guard was already terminated. Or would be as soon as Dalinar found out about how close the assassin had gotten to Adolin.

With a storm on his face, he ushered Adolin back to his chambers. These were some distance away, so Kaladin had time to stew on the whole situation. As their feet ate up the distance between here and there, he realized that Adolin had disobeyed his order. Kaladin had shouted to duck, and instead Adolin had pulled his head up and looked around.

"Close call, that," the Highprince said affably, a happy smile on his face.

His blond and black speckled hair wasn't so much as mussed from the encounter. Not that anyone would notice with how he styles it, thought Kaladin darkly, grunting in response.

Adolin's smile fell at the lack of response. He tried again. "Guy almost got me. You were quick, but he was quicker," he continued, oblivious to Kaladin's darkening expression. "Strong, too. I keep forgetting how hard it can be to block a strike without shardplate."

Kaladin stopped in the hallway, watching as Adolin continued on obliviously. Storm it all! They were near Adolin's chambers now, but Kaladin wasn't quite ready to release the man back into his own care. He didn't want to search the rooms for more assassins yet. He wanted to give Adolin a piece of his mind.

After a few steps, Adolin paused, finally realizing that Kaladin wasn't keeping up. "What's wrong?" he asked affably.

"What's wrong?" Kaladin growled, stalking toward the man. "What's wrong?"

Adolin's eyes were wide now. He'd seen Kaladin's anger before, but not since they first met had it ever been turned on him. He found himself backing up a step in the face of the storm coming his way.

"What's wrong, Princeling, is that you don't storming know how to take orders!" Kaladin erupted, anger and stress spewing out before he could temper it.

"I know how to take orders, Kal," Adolin said incredulously.

"When I'm your guard, I'm not Kal," he hissed. "I'm your storming guard! And you make my job a hell of a lot harder when you don't. Storming. Listen!"

Adolin was taken aback. From the look on his face, he had no idea Kaladin would be so upset. "You're my friend, Kal. Surely we don't need-"

"What I don't need, is your complacency!"Kal stalked forward and got in Adolin's face. "Half the storming planet wants to kill you and your family, and you don't even care!"

"I do care!" Adolin exclaimed, circling around Kaladin like an opponent in the dueling ring. "I train. I employ guards, like you, to alert me to dangers. But I don't let it ruin my day!"

"Ruin your day?" Kal asked incredulously. "It could have ruined your LIFE!" His words quieted. "You could have died." I could have lost you.


	2. Shock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! WTF? Adolin and Kaladin finally get together

“Storming Bridgeboy,” Adolin growled, shoving past Kaladin in the hallway.

Kaladin reacted just as Adolin passed him, grabbing his shoulder and spinning the slightly shorter man around. He pressed close as he snarled back, “You may be above my station in life, Princeling, but when your personal guard tells you to jump, you storming well jump. Your life may depend on it!”

“I wasn’t in any danger!” Adolin snapped. He shoved Kaladin’s hand off his shoulder roughly and started to bully his way past the man again.

Kaladin grabbed both his shoulders instead and shoved him back against the wall. “You storming looked like it!” he said angrily, inches from Adolin’s face.

Abruptly, Adolin’s expression changed and he lunged forward to press his lips on Kaladin’s, shocking them both.

Kaladin’s body stiffened, adrenaline coursing through his veins as his body prepared for an attack that never came. Or rather, an attack of a sort he never expected. After a moment of astonishment, he realized with a jolt how much he hungered for this. How much he'd always hungered for this. Kaladin pressed his lips against those of the other man, returning the kiss with ardor, heart beating fast as the kiss turned suddenly passionate.

Spren like falling snowflakes began to fall gently around them as Kaladin felt Adolin bury his hand in his hair and pull him tighter. After a few long moments, they separated slightly and Kaladin rested his forehead against Adolin’s, both men breathing hard.

“What the-” Kaladin began to ask softly.

Adolin shushed him and pressed his lips back against the darkeyed man’s. He was gentler this time, but there was still a hunger to his kisses. He was like a man taking small bites of an expensive delicacy. Not devouring and rushing the experience, but enjoying the taste too much to stop eating. Kaladin marveled at the heady feeling and returned the kiss in kind. His hands moved down to the blonde’s waist and Adolin responded by pressing their bodies closer.

Kaladin thought he couldn’t be more surprised, but was proven wrong when he realized he could feel Adolin’s erection pressed against his own, separated only by the fabric of their trousers. Unbidden, a groan escaped him and he felt Adolin’s mouth curve into a smile against his own.

Adolin’s left hand was between them now, gently pressing against Kaladin’s cock, rubbing teasingly. His right hand drifted down from Kaladin’s hair and onto the back of his neck, cradling the curve there gently. The two turned and Kaladin pulled back from the kiss with a gasp. Belatedly, he released his white-knuckled grip on Adolin’s shoulders. In turn, Adolin moved his hand from the front of Kaladin’s pants to the man’s hip instead, leaving him with a strange sense of loss. Where before his touch was rough and demanding, Adolin’s gentle touch now seemed to say he wanted the option to pull him close again if he wished it.

“Storming lighteyes,” Kaladin breathed. “Always needing to be in control.”

Adolin laughed, running a hand through his blond locks sprinkled with black. Storms but he was attractive. “And would you have it any other way, Kal?” came the whispered response.

Kaladin didn’t reply and kissed him instead. It only lasted a moment before Adolin pulled back again to look in Kaladin’s eyes, searching. Kaladin thought he could see a worry there, a counterpoint to the blown pupils making Adolin’s normally bright blue eyes almost black except for a thin ring around the edge. “Can we go somewhere more private?” Adolin asked quietly, entreatingly.

Kal simply nodded, assassins forgotten, and the other man took his hand. Adolin led him, stumbling, a short way down the hall to his chambers. He released Kaladin’s hand to unlock the door and took it back again to lead him through the sitting room. He led Kaladin around couches and chairs to the bedchamber and pushed him gently inside.

Adolin’s bedchamber was lit gently with spheres glowing in a goblet on a table by a bed more than twice as wide as a spearman’s cot. Kaladin took in the room as Adolin closed the door and locked it with a click of his key. As Kaladin turned to regard the man again, Adolin’s lips were suddenly once again on his own. Adolin pulled Kaladin’s hips roughly toward him and kissed him hungrily. Kaladin’s momentary reprieve was over, it seemed, and he found he was just fine with that.

Adolin’s lips left Kal’s to graze against his jaw, and down his neck, making him shudder. His lips returned again to Kaladin’s and he realized the shorter man was now steering him backward through the room. Distracted by the mouth on his own, and the hands on his hips, and the growing hardness in his pants, as well as in Adolin’s, he was unprepared when his calves hit the side of the bed.

Kal sat heavily on the bed, which had a harder mattress than expected. He rocked backward on the bed with the force of his fall. Adolin was on him in a flash, hands moving swiftly down Kaladin’s jacket and then shirt buttons as he devoured Kal’s mouth. In short order, Kal’s jacket and shirt were hanging open and Adolin was skimming his hands over his bare stomach and sides, fingers curving around toward Kal’s back and caressing him gently. Again, Adolin’s lips left Kal’s to wander southward. Kal inhaled sharply as the blond nipped at the point where his jaw met his neck and then was unable to catch his breath as the kisses and caresses moved further down.

Adolin gently moved the high collar of Kaladin’s uniform aside so he could plant kisses along the curve where neck met shoulder. Then before Kal could comprehend the feeling, Adolin was kissing a line down his muscled chest, down to his stomach, and finally settling gently at the waistband of his trousers. Here, Adolin paused, glancing up at Kaladin’s bewildered and dazed face with his eyebrow raised in question. As if to make his request more clear, he ran a finger just inside the edge of the waistband near the fastener and breathed hot, moist air on the skin there.

Kaladin’s skin prickled with goosebumps and he took a shuddering breath to steady himself slightly. His eyes never leaving Adolin’s, he gently rested his right hand on the back of Adolin’s head, sinking his fingers delicately into the speckled hair as he supported himself with his other hand pressing against the bed.

Adolin grinned in response and pulled Kaladin’s waistband out slightly, then bit it with mock ferocity. His deft fingers quickly undid Kal’s trousers and pulled his hardness out.

Kal felt as if he had no idea what was going on. He was appalled at the throbbing stiffness in Adolin’s hand. He’d never felt so hard in his life, and the delicate skin seemed red and angry under the other man’s hot breath breezing oh-so-gently across it. Kal took a ragged gasp and struggled to steady his breathing, to slow his heartbeat. The tiny kisses Adolin was placing on his cock made it very difficult. When Adolin’s tongue entered the arena, Kaladin gave up trying.

Adolin was very good at this. His tongue danced along Kaladin’s cock, and then with a swirl around the head, he engulfed the member he was worshiping. Kal fell backward onto his elbow, arching his back and gasping aloud. “Storms,” slipped out of Kal’s mouth as he gasped, mouth gaping open like a hasper shell. He glanced down and saw Adolin’s cheeks hollowed with suction as he moved back up toward the tip. The suction released with a long lapping press of the tongue to the underside of Kaladin’s cock.

Kaladin’s eyes were riveted to the sight of Adolin kneeling between his legs, offering reverent obeisance to Kaladin’s sex. Through the haze of sensation, Kal realized Adolin’s shoulder was bobbing up and down with the movement of his hand hidden by the edge of the bed. He was suddenly startled out of his daze by the movement and reality came crashing upon him like a highstorm.

“Stop!” he said desperately in between gasping breaths.

To his credit, Adolin pulled his mouth off Kaladin’s cock with a pop as soon as Kal spoke. He looked up at Kal with a question clearly written on his face.

“What are we doing?” Kal asked miserably.

Adolin’s face clouded with confusion. “I’m sucking your cock, Kal,” he said simply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Kal pulled his body back farther on the bed to a more normal sitting position and hastily tucked his erection away. “Your wife…”

Adolin pulled back as if he’d been slapped. “My wife,” he said flatly.

“You swore her an oath, Adolin,” Kal said, a pit forming in his stomach. “I can’t do this. Make you break your oath to her.”

Oddly, Adolin laughed. His shoulders shook with the force of his laughter, and Kal glared at him.

“This isn’t funny, Adolin. What we’re doing here is wrong. Go back to your wife. She should be the one here, not me.”

“That’s not-” Adolin choked out between his laughter. “Trust me, she’d be okay with this.”

“What? You expect me to believe that?” Kal glared. It was one thing to have a lapse in judgment, but to lie about it? Who did that? He thought he knew Adolin better than that. I guess I was wrong about you, too, Princeling.

Adolin just shook his head, apparently still overcome with laughter. He still knelt on the floor between Kaladin’s knees, though he’d pulled back enough to give the man some space.

Kaladin felt his face growing hot with anger, and he quickly disentangled himself and stood. He stormed across the room to Adolin’s door and paused just inside the room, turning to face the highprince once more. “Adolin, I can’t be a part of this. You know I can’t. You need to talk to Shallan. Do it before I do. Because I will.”

Once outside the door, Kaladin leaned with his back against the wall of the hallway, breathing hard and trying to understand what had just happened. With a deep, shuddering breath, he left Adolin and Shallan’s apartment complex and headed for his own quarters. Yes, he would need to speak to Shallan about this, but storms, he had a massive erection that had to be dealt with. The guilt was overwhelming, but… storms.


	3. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaladin is too honorable for his own good. Or maybe not.

Back in his rooms later, Kaladin indulged in the most shameful wank of his life. He managed to put the feeling aside long enough to complete the act, remembering Adolin’s mouth on his body vividly. It was unexpected, to feel this way about a man. He’d felt similarly for a small number of women in his life, but never had he gone so far with them. Never had he felt the way he’d felt in Adolin’s bedchamber. Once he was through, the guilt and shame crashed back on his shoulders like a physical weight.

“I’m proud of you, Kal,” came a small voice from his bedside table.

Kaladin jumped, having forgotten about Syl entirely. His cheeks burned red in embarrassment, and shamespren fell around his shoulders like red and white flower petals.

“Wow,” Syl continued, noting their presence. “You REALLY feel bad about this, don’t you?”

“You have no idea, Syl.”

“Oh, I think I do,” she said with a small smile on her face. “But I meant it, I’m proud of you.”

“What’s there to be proud of?” he demanded. “Making a married man break his oaths to his wife? Getting so wrapped up in my own emotions that I hurt someone else?”

Syl shook her diminutive head. “No, I’m proud of you stopping yourself from doing those things. You didn’t cause him to break his oaths, but you did stop him from continuing. You stopped yourself from being a part of it. You promised to tell her the truth, instead of hiding behind lies and betrayal. You encouraged him to tell the truth. Not many men would have had the strength to do that, Kal. Not at that moment.”

Kal’s cheeks burned harder. What she said was true, but he almost hadn’t stopped it. He was so close, he desperately wanted to see what else Adolin could do to his body, but he knew it was wrong. He couldn’t get the images, the sensations, out of his mind. Kal closed his eyes, but that only made it worse. Made the images more vivid, the memory of sensation more real. He could still feel the burning heat of Adolin’s lips on his neck, his hand on Kal’s hip, the way Adolin’s knee gently moved his foot to the side to make room… No! Stop! Kal thought to himself, shamespren once again falling around him.

“Kal,” Syl said in a small voice. “I know it’s hard for you right now, but you did the right thing. It’s not wrong to crave human affection and touch. But when it hurts someone, it isn’t right either.” She came closer to his face and touched a tiny hand to his cheek. “This isn’t an easy situation, and I’m sorry you’re going through it.”

Kal looked at her miserably. “Thank you,” he managed, finally. He took a deep, shuddering breath. “You wouldn’t happen to know where I could find Shallan, would you?”


	4. Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kal comes clean to Shallan

Kaladin finally found Shallan far below the bulk of Urithiru tower, in the room with a giant gem-encrusted column where Queen Regent Jasnah had set up her research rooms.

Shallan sat at a desk facing the wall, transcribing passages from an enormous tome into a notebook. The queen herself was at a nearby desk reading what appeared to be reports or letters. Her eyes met Kaladin’s as he strode across the large room toward Shallan, and she let out a sigh, resigned.

“Shallan,” she said, causing the young woman to raise her head and turn towards her. “It appears that now the Captain would like words with you. Since you have such an apparently busy social life, perhaps you should take the rest of the day off and allow my research rooms some quiet?”

Shallan murmured a quiet thank you to the queen and hurried over to Kaladin, taking his arm and ushering him from the room quickly, glancing over her shoulder repeatedly as they left.

“Is everything-” Kal began, but cut himself off as he saw the look on Shallan’s face.

“No, everything is not alright!” she hissed. “But this is not the place to discuss it. Come on.”

For the second time today, Kal was taken by the hand into a private room by one of his friends. Morosely, he wished neither had happened.

Shallan led him to a quiet room of modest size that had apparently once been a library alcove, given the empty and crumbling bookshelves that ran in three small rows through its middle. She pulled a diamond broam from her pouch as she closed the door and rounded on Kaladin, irritation apparent on her face.

“I’m sorry,” Kal said simply.

“Damnation right you’re sorry!” Shallan hissed back at him. Then, oddly, she took a deep breath, safehand to her chest. “No, I’m sorry. Jasnah has got me working on some very important research right now, and will no doubt be quite cross when I return tomorrow, but I’m sure she’ll get over it. You don’t deserve my ire when you’re just trying to apologize for a misunderstanding.”

Kal raised an eyebrow. “A misunderstanding? Is that what we’re calling it now?”

“Yes. You have quite obviously misunderstood what Adolin intended, and it’s okay. He’s not upset with you, but he is rather distraught at the idea that he might have hurt your feelings.”

“Hurt MY feelings?” Kal asked incredulously. “I didn’t want to hurt YOUR feelings!”

“Oh, I know. But you don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine. A little jealous, if I’m honest, but I’ll get over it.” Shallan said nonchalantly.

“You-” Kal began, stunned. There had to be some sort of mistake here. He had to explain. “I don’t think you understand. I don’t know what Adolin told you, but I need you to understand the whole truth here, Shallan.”

Shallan smiled at him, a glint in her eye. “From what I understand, you saved Adolin’s life once again, fought about it, he kissed you, and then you moved into the bedroom. At some point, you stopped things because you were worried about me. Then he came to talk to me, and now you’re here to talk to me. Correct?”

“I-” Kal was at a loss for words. She’d glossed over the important things, but… “Yes?”

Shallan raised an eyebrow. “Yes? Was there more?”

There was a time for being delicate, and this was not that time. Bluntness. No room for misunderstanding. Yes, that’s what Kal needed right now. “We almost had sex, Shallan. Kind of… did, actually.”

“I know,” she said simply.

“And you’re okay with that?” Kal choked out. He felt like he was drowning. The sea had opened up beneath his feet, and the surface was suddenly very far above his head.

“Perfectly,” Shallan said. “As I said, a little jealous, but nothing to worry about.”

Kal gaped at her for a moment. Stormfather, Shallan was the only person he’d ever met who could wrongfoot him like this. “I think it’s the jealousy I AM worried about, Shallan. He broke his oath to you.”

She cocked her head at him for a moment, confused. Then the light went on in her eyes. “Oh, you think I’m jealous of you!” She chuckled a moment. “No, I’m jealous of Adolin. After all, I get to have sex with him all the time.”

“WHAT?”

“Oh Storms, I seem to have muddled this for you even further. I thought he’d communicated more to you than you’ve received.” She took a deep breath, eyebrows knitting as she thought a moment. Then she met Kaladin’s eyes and took his hands in hers. “Kaladin,” she began.

“Yes, that’s my name,” he said, trying to regain some mental footing in the conversation.

“I know that Adolin practically jumped you and tried to have sex with you this afternoon. I know that you stopped it because you were worried about our marriage oaths. Being all honorable and adorable and all that.” She blushed and paused a moment. “I think you may have suspected that before Adolin and I married, I was seriously considering you as well.”

“Ye-es…” Kal said slowly, the beginnings of comprehension taking root in his mind.

“What I don’t think you knew is that Adolin has also felt similarly for some time now. Or that we have discussed this since the wedding. At length.”

Kal stared at her, wide-eyed and uncomprehending. Unwilling to acknowledge what was happening until she said it. Say it.

“Kaladin,” Shallan began again, a blush rising to her cheeks. “You have my permission to court my husband, and even have sex with him, if you want to do so.”

“Well, that fixes everything!” Syl piped up from the top of a bookshelf, where she jumped up clapping.

Kal spared Syl the barest of glances, then looked back at Shallan. He snapped his mouth shut, astounded by it all.

“You- You’re okay with it? You’re not angry that your husband had his- that we-” Kaladin cut off, unable to continue. Unable to voice what he still could not accept.

Shallan reached up to cup one of his cheeks, not a little condescendingly. “Yes, dear. A little jealous, like I said, but yes. I’m okay with it.”

Finally, Kaladin’s mind caught up with the conversation. “I need to sit down,” he said, sitting abruptly on the floor. Shallan sat down next to him, much more elegantly than his half-controlled flop.

“You have questions,” she said, matter-of-factly. It was almost as if she was explaining her plan for a dinner party, she was so blase.

“Yes.” He said. But even though a million questions whirled through his mind, nothing came forward more than half-formed. Kal felt as if he were whirling with them, and trying to grab at the half-formed ideas would cause them to crumble and drift away in the current. So he waited until one of his questions was ready to be asked.

Shallan regarded his stunned look and uncomprehending eyes and cracked a smile. “Oh dear,” she said ruefully. “It appears I broke you. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Kaladin ignored the question. “Let me get this straight. You and Adolin both wanted to court me?”

“Essentially, yes.” Again with the cavalier attitude. It was like she wasn’t taking this seriously.

“And now that he and I…” he paused, unable to continue that line of thinking for the moment, lest he be consumed again by memories of this afternoon. A thought struck him. “Wait, you’re jealous of him?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Are you calling me a liar?” Was that a blush on her cheeks, or was she angry? Kaladin was so distracted by the rest of the conversation, he’d missed something. A lot of things, if he was honest with himself.

“Not an intentional one. But I don’t believe you really understand. Today was…” He paused, forcing himself to think of a word to describe this afternoon that wasn’t too provocative. “Intense. I’m not sure you’d feel the same way if you saw it.”

An evil grin spread across Shallan’s face. “Are you saying I should see it for myself before passing judgment?”

“I-,” Kal began. “Yes.”


	5. Climax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shallan brings Kaladin home to confront Adolin.

The three sat in Adolin and Shallan’s sitting room, and things could not have been more awkward. No one spoke. Everyone was blushing.

Shallan coughed. “Well, since neither of you seems to want to say anything, I guess I will.” She turned to her husband. “Adolin, Kaladin came to talk to me, just like you said he would.”

Kaladin and Adolin’s eyes met across the small sitting area, and Adolin gave a faint smile. Kaladin felt sick with nerves. What in storms was he doing here again?

“Unfortunately,” Shallan continued. “Kaladin here does not believe me when I told him I’m okay with you two courting.”

Adolin raised an eyebrow. “Is that what we’re calling it now? I would’ve called it-”

“Hush,” Shallan admonished him. Adolin gave his typical goofy grin, almost distracting from the predatory glint in his eyes, watching Kaladin like an axehound watching a baby mink.

“As I was saying,” Shallan continued, drawing Adolin’s eyes back to her and folding her arms in frustration. “He doesn’t believe me.”

They both turned to look at Kal, who sat up straighter, eyes wide. He glanced from Adolin to Shallan and back again. “Adolin, I just have a hard time believing that she could truly be okay with… that. Today.”

“Kal, you don’t think my wife knows what passionspren look like? She gets it. She knows the kind of lover I am,” Adolin said, settling back on the sofa, eyes glued to Kaladin. Storms, how could he look so relaxed right now? They were discussing Adolin cheating on his wife with Kaladin.

Kal took a breath to speak, but Shallan cut him off.

“He said that I should watch.” Kaladin couldn’t look at him. If he looked at Adolin, memories of earlier rose and refused to be quelled. So he watched Shallan instead. This was not the best idea, because she wore a self-satisfied smile that made Kaladin far too uncomfortable.

Adolin slapped his knees in excitement, making Kal jump. “That’s a great idea!”

“WHAT?” Kal demanded, eyes turning to where Adolin sat. He was leaning forward now. Was he… leering?

Shallan hummed to herself. “It might be a bit awkward if I just sat and watched you two, at least to start with. Maybe I should go to another room and wait, then come back after you two have started?” She paused thoughtfully, fingertips resting on her chin. “No, that would just delay the awkwardness and maybe interrupt the whole thing. Hide behind the changing curtain? Then I’d just be peeping. That would be weird.”

Adolin’s eyes hadn’t left Kaladin’s. But apparently, he’d been listening to Shallan’s ramblings, because he said, “No. It needs to be natural. Or, as natural as all this awkwardness could be.”

Kaladin felt once again like he was drowning.

“But how?” Shallan asked.

Adolin stood and held out his hand to her. She grasped it with her safehand, and he held out his other hand to Kaladin. Like a fish on a line, Kaladin was drawn up to his hand, and Adolin took his hand just as he had Shallan’s. Then he turned and kissed his wife squarely on the lips. This was no chaste peck, but the kiss of a longtime lover. It was gentle but thorough. Shallan melted into his lips, and Kaladin felt like a third wheel to the cart. Several passionspren fell around them, and Kaladin could almost imagine he felt them settling on his head and shoulders.

But when their kiss broke off, Adolin turned to Kaladin and kissed him as well. The kiss began the same way Shallan’s kiss had been. As before, there was a hunger to Adolin’s kiss, as if he wanted to devour Kaladin whole.

After a long moment, Adolin broke off the kiss and left Kaladin feeling dazed. He turned to Shallan and she smiled. “One more for the road,” she murmured and gave Adolin a quick peck on the lips. “You boys go play.”

Kaladin watched helplessly as she went to sit down in one of the chairs in the sitting area, and turned back to Adolin.

“Now do you understand?” Adolin asked gently. Kaladin nodded mutely in response.

“Are you still up for this?” Adolin asked, concern creasing his face. He seemed hesitant, as if afraid he’d scare Kaladin away. In for a chip, in for a broam…

Kaladin responded by taking Adolin’s face between his hands and kissing him soundly on the lips. He once again let himself be led back to the bedchamber. Adolin didn’t close the door this time, but instead gently pushed Kaladin once again on the bed, sitting next to him.

He reached up and softly cupped the back of Kaladin’s head where it met his neck and pulled him into another kiss. It started out gentle but quickly turned filthy. His mouth opened and Kaladin’s responded in kind. Their teeth gnashed together and Adolin’s tongue found its way into Kaladin’s mouth. Kaladin grasped Adolin’s arm and found himself irritated by the cloth separating their skin. As if reading his mind, Adolin began undoing the buttons on his uniform jacket and slid it off his shoulders. He pulled out of the kiss to lay it on the end of the bed and began undoing his shirt as well, raising an eyebrow and looking pointedly at Kaladin’s own uniform.

Kaladin stood and nervously removed his jacket, draping it over the footboard of the bed. Then Adolin practically tackled him, bare chest rubbing on Kaladin’s shirt. Adolin once again undid the buttons of Kaladin’s shirt, this time removing the garment altogether as he kissed Kaladin insensible.

Once he had the shirt off, Adolin pulled back from their kiss to murmur against Kaladin’s lips. “You know I’ll stop if you want me to, but I hope you don’t.” His hands caressed Kaladin’s body, and Kaladin found himself doing the same. Adolin’s body wasn’t the same as a woman’s. Where a woman’s body was all soft curves, Adolin’s was hard planes and muscles with the occasional small scar here or there.

Adolin pulled their bodies together roughly and practically ground their hips together. His hands went to Kaladin’s waistband and wasted no time undoing the fastenings there. When Kaladin’s manhood emerged, Adolin let out a soft sigh.

“Shall we resume where we left off, Bridgeboy?”

Kaladin’s knees went weak and words came to his lips unbidden. “You’d storming well better.”

Adolin grinned a predator’s grin and fell to his knees, engulfing Kaladin’s cock in one swallow. Kaladin nearly fainted, so instead he disengaged himself and sat down once more on the edge of the bed. Adolin went down on Kaladin’s cock as if he was afraid the darkeyed man would stop the whole thing again.

This gave Kaladin an idea. “Stop,” he said. “Stand up.”

Adolin whined but complied. Once he was standing, Kaladin stood as well and pulled him into a passionate kiss. He pushed both their trousers down and grasped Adolin’s behind firmly, pulling him close. Then he took both their erections into his hand and started pumping slowly. Adolin gasped audibly and looked down at what Kaladin was doing. Kal decided he liked the view as well, so he rested his forehead against Adolin’s and watched, occasionally gasping as the other man thrust gently into his hand.

Before long, Kaladin began to notice how dry his hand was, and that they were beginning to rub painfully. Apparently, Adolin noticed as well, because he pushed Kaladin back on the bed, hurriedly kicked off his trousers and went to rummage in the drawer of the bedside table for a moment. Kaladin took the opportunity to remove his own trousers before Adolin returned with a small bottle. He put a few drops of what appeared to be oil in his palm and grasped himself hard as he went to his knees before Kaladin again.

Adolin meant business. He growled and thrust into his own hand as he sucked Kaladin’s cock, and Kaladin couldn’t keep himself from burying his hands in Adolin’s peppered hair. With a final gasp, Kaladin came in Adolin’s mouth and Kaladin watched as he swallowed reflexively and let out a muffled grunt as his own spasms took him.

Gently, Kaladin pulled him up onto the bed next to him and began licking Adolin’s hand clean. The oil had a very mild taste that mixed pleasantly with the salty muskiness of Adolin’s semen. Normally, Kaladin felt spent after his ejaculation, but this time he felt even more turned on than before. He knew that he could stop and be satisfied, but something in him wanted to keep going. He realized he’d breathed in a little stormlight. He took the back of Adolin’s neck gently in his hand and kissed him, letting both their tastes mingle in their mouths.

Adolin pulled back with a sigh and stood. A goofy grin lit his face. “Storms, Bridgeboy. I need a few, but then we’re going to do that again.”

Kaladin watched as Adolin left the bedchamber and made his way over to where Shallan sat in her chair, sketchpad in hand. Adolin glanced at it and murmured softly to her, bringing a blush and a smile to her face. He knelt before her and kissed her soundly on the lips. Then, with a playful attitude, he pulled up her dress and climbed underneath it.

Kal found himself smiling in amusement as Adolin apparently gave her the same treatment Kal himself had just received. Shallan arched her back and tossed her head in ecstasy, and met his eyes. An impish smile crossed her face and she pulled the hem of her dress up around her waist, revealing slender legs wrapped around Adolin’s head. The man buried there wiggled his head back and forth between her legs and Shallan squealed.

Kaladin was drawn forward towards them, and Shallan held her hand out to him beckoningly when she noticed. With a start, he realized it was her safehand, and he felt himself stirring once more.

Drawing close, Kal glanced down at the sketch Shallan was working on and was shocked to see that it was a picture of him and Adolin, heads bowed together as Kaladin stroked them both off. They were framed perfectly in the doorway, and Kaladin gasped at the sheer eroticism of the sketch. He looked down at Shallan in wonder and saw her give him a sly smile before Adolin drew another gasp from her.

Shallan pulled on Kal’s hand, drawing him closer to her chair. Within a moment, he was standing so close his knees were touching the arm of the chair, and she released his hand. Almost without thinking, he leaned down and kissed her, long and deep. She moaned gently into his mouth and Kaladin thought vaguely that this is not what he expected when he woke up this morning. He stood and watched, overwhelmed as she took his manhood into her uncovered safehand and gently guided it to her mouth. He gasped as she began to suckle him and heard chuckles coming from between her legs as Adolin saw what was happening.

Shallan pulled back abruptly to arch her back and gasp loudly as she came. Adolin rose to a crouch and positioned himself between her legs, Shallan leaning forward to draw him to her. Kaladin watched in awe as Adolin kissed her, and entered her, then pulled Kaladin close once again. Together, the couple thrust against each other and took turns drawing Kaladin into their mouths.

Together, the three rode the high of pheromones to its conclusion and then draped themselves in a sweaty heap around the chair. After a time, Shallan gently pried herself out of their embrace and sat up to grab her sketchpad again, putting the final touches on the picture she’d drawn of her two lovers. Before anyone could comment on it, she flipped the page and began drawing another sketch, this one of the two men kissing, hands on each other’s waists. Then she flipped the page and began a third sketch, of Adolin kneeling between Kaladin’s legs, hand on his own erection. With a sigh, she finished the sketch and closed her sketchpad.

“I only wish I’d had Pattern watch the three of us so I could sketch that too, but I wasn’t quite expecting that to work out quite as it did.”

Adolin had wandered away during her sketching, and only now turned back to them. He had a tray of glasses and some sort of fruit on a plate. “There’s always next time,” he said as he set the tray down on the side table and took a glass for himself.

Awkwardly, Kaladin stood and mumbled something about getting dressed, but was stopped by Adolin.

“Don’t go,” the blond man said simply.

“I don’t want to intrude,” Kaladin said quietly.

Adolin grinned ruefully. “How could you possibly intrude? You’re a part of this. Like it or now, you’re in a relationship with us now.”

“With both of you,” Kaladin said flatly.

“Of course,” Shallan replied simply, taking a sip of her water. “Mmmm. Ado, love, we’re going to need a bigger bed. Would you be a dear and ask about that tomorrow?”

Adolin wore the biggest grin Kal had ever seen. Kaladin, however, was left simply wondering how in damnation he’d gotten here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, folks, this is where I'm ending it for the day. I've got 3 other installments to add to the Porno, Porno, Porno collection, and some ideas for more. If people like the series, I'll post the rest. And please, if you have ideas for situations, kinks you'd like me to explore with these three, bits of funny conversation you have but don't want to use, or whatever else - please let me know.
> 
> Also, sorry for spamming the sub here today. I couldn't stand starting to post a series called Porno, Porno, Porno!, and having the only post be an abstract conversation between Kaladin and his mom. It was just... wrong. This seemed a better place to leave it.


End file.
